It’s said quite often that life is not a bed of roses. I tend to agree because to get the very best out of life, a lot of do’s and don’ts have to be followed.
Most annoying, perhaps, is that most times, the don’ts are part of our everyday life ritual that we can hardly do away with.
But then, to really become the best you can ever be in life, to become the lion amongst the sheep, and to live the life of your dreams to the fullest, some don’ts must never be disregarded, regardless of how difficult it might be to exercise them.
Below hence, are four of such don’ts that will help you take absolute charge of your career and life if you don’t do them.
1. Acting Nice All The Time
There’s a pretty famous quote by an anonymous author, or probably a line from a movie which says… “Smile and the world will smile back at you.”
Oh, will it? I don’t find much fault with this quote. I mean, smile is the universal language and for the lovers, it’s safe to say that most love, at first sight, begins with a smile.
So, I agree with above quote quite alright. But then, here’s a quote by Stanley Gordon West which I find rather more insightful…
Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.
Yeah right, that’s pretty deep.
The world cares only about people and things when they can derive benefits from them. That’s to say, no matter how much you act the “Mr. Nice Guy,” the world will still trample on you if you’re the seemingly only stepping stone to their unending desires.
So hey, have you ever thought that if you are nice to everyone in the world at all times, that the world will return the favor and be nice to you?
First, you can never be nice to everyone. Some people’s desires are so not of this world and the only way you can please them is by… Well, you can’t please them. You just can’t.
Second, sorry to say, but think again.
The truth is, if you are playing the nice guy, you’ll care more about how people will feel and react rather than how you feel. You’ll care more about impressing everyone rather than impressing yourself and the people that matter.
The nice guys watch others get promoted to their supposed spots at work and remain calm about it, simply because they want to remain on the boss’ good side.
What about in relationships? The nice guys never win because they’d rather watch from afar than that to approach a lady they love and be tagged “pervert” by onlookers.
And when they actually do take the bold step, they get dragged around in the relationship because they’d rather obey every of the partner’s demand than to say NO and have a little heated up moment that can actually make the union last longer.
Living like this is basically like dying slowly by every ticking second. Nice guys just never win.
And by the way, nice guys is just an expression — it applies to both girls and guys alike.
So hey, be nice much as you want to but, when you start being tossed around on the basis of being nice, or when you start exhibiting the symptoms of the “Mr. Nice Guy” described above, take few steps back and take proper rethought on the level of the niceness the world really deserves from you.
2. Letting Fear Dominate
There’s no big accomplishment in life that is risk free-free.
That’s to say, in as much as you aspire to lead a happier, successful life, there are going be risks, there going to be complications, and there are going to be lots and lots of hurdles to overcome.
At each point of such trials, fear is going fill you up. We are humans, and we can’t help getting wary and scared.
However, you can’t let fear dominate.
Once you let fear dominate, you’ll miss out on life-changing opportunities that you would’ve either benefited from or learned from. You’ll put up with whatever curveball life throws at you. You’ll lose your purpose.
Never make fear your limit, because as Michael Jordan said,
Limits, like fear, is often an illusion.
The scarier the path, the stronger your desire to embark on it should be.
Beat your fears and you’ll become absolutely unstoppable.
This is because, fear of going the distance and doing the extraordinary things, is what differentiates the average person from a history maker.
3. Waiting for the good things to find you
This is basically one of the major to-don’ts there is. You want fortune, fame, adventures, luxuries and whatnot at your reach, yet you fail to put in the work.
Nothing good comes easy. Regardless of how you lucky you might be, the good stuff will never find you if you don’t pursue it, or better still, if you don’t embrace it when it’s at arms reach.
History doesn’t make men, men make history. Though it may not be seen, every good stuff comes with a price tag. Luckily for us, most often, the price for our goals and desires is hard work, and the hard work required of us is often within our ability.
So, waiting for the classy cars, mansions and other classy stuff to magically find you is totally an illusion. It does happen, though — in the fairytales and animations.
If you want the classy life, be ready to put in a classy hard work.
Don’t wait for the good stuff to find you, there’s absolutely no guarantee it will. The good news, however, is that we are in the 21st century — the tech century with unlimited career opportunities for every human being.
There’s no better time to succeed than now. Therefore, leave your comfort zone and go and find the good things of life.
4. Giving others the upper hand in your life
A closer look at the lives of the world’s most successful people will definitely make it crystal clear that they never let anyone mess around with their life and career. They exhibit a level of aggressiveness that helps them remain in charge.
To build a fearless personality, you must be ready to act irrationally. Don’t let anyone discredit you simply because you want to keep it cool.
Though keeping it cool is the way to go, sometimes, a bold confrontation is all you really need to set things right. Build a reputation you’ll be known and respected for.
Suck up people’s ill-treatment or disrespect once, if only you are willing to keep sucking it up for a lifetime.
Don’t suppress your emotions and desires or hide your true identity to live up to people’s standards. You owe yourself to explain to, it’s your duty to keep yourself happy, and whether you succeed or fail in life, it’s all on you.
You are number one, and nothing should ever come before you.
Sure you can be selfless and caring. There are times you’d wanna get hurt in someone else’s place. Sometimes you’d wanna be their superman and take the bullet for them.
But hey, always know the limits and boundaries to not exceed. And always be sure that the “Mary Jane” you are playing “spider man” for appreciates your efforts.
Don’t be the guy who gets a job he hates, to buy stuff he doesn’t like, just to impress people he doesn’t love.
Always do you. Don’t ever let yourself to be labeled a pushover — because the moment you do, everyone will jump at the opportunity and trample on you mercilessly.
Once again, you are number one and nothing less. Be selfless all you want, but never fail to look after yourself. Take care of yourself. Love yourself.
Life may not be a bed of roses, but it does have enough roses to go round. And if you abide strictly by the right dos and avoid the don’ts, you’ll surely get your fair share of the roses.
Lastly, “life may not really be the party we hoped for, but while we are in it, we might as well dance” –one of my fave quotes from Jeanne C. Stein.
Explore and give yourself the best life possible because you totally deserve it.
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